The bottom line is the Christian religion is incoherent and the bible is patently absurd. 5 years ago I would have laughed at anyone who said this to me, and responded with something stupid like “not-uh, my pastor says god is love and Jesus was god and so he’s perfect and….. blah, blah, blah.” The problem was, I didn’t know any better, for obvious reasons Christians focus on certain parts of the bible and ignore others. The fact is, however, the majority of the bible is filled with absolutely ridiculous bullshit, this realization was a major catalyst in my departure from Christianity. I’m not going to go into a lot of philosophical or logical discussions here, I am simply going to appeal to good old fashioned common sense. If you don’t find the following examples offensive to your common sense, then you either don’t have any, or you’re so indoctrinated that obvious facts/truth escape you. Remember, the bible was written by superstitious, ignorant, bronze age men who thought the earth was flat, that alone should cause some red flags.
Before I give you the list of ridiculousness, consider that the bible is said to be (by Christians) the most perfect book ever written, the pure word of god containing his will for mankind. However it is unclear, has contradictions, problematic verses and leaves people split on what it actually says. Man has produced works of mathematics and science that hold up to hundreds of years of scrutiny with no or little room for improvement and only by the greatest minds doing extensive research, however the bible could be immediately improved by even the simplest minds by just correcting conflicting statements or removing the bits about being killed for mixing two types of material in your clothing. Why does the bible not contain any of the knowledge that an omniscient being would have had, or really any useful knowledge at all? Wouldn’t revealing something like germ theory have helped to substantiate the legitimacy of the bible as the word of god, while also saving lives and reducing suffering from disease? It is obviously man made.
Now let’s begin with a list of examples of the lunacy! (Not a complete list, just a smattering of good examples)
A. Animals were only given green herb to eat (Gen 1:30) and there was presumably no death before the fall. When then, did god design carnivores? Did he design them with venom, claws, and canine teeth because his creation was ultimately designed to fall into corruption?
B. Why would god create a world in which living things must kill and devour other living things in order to survive?
C. It takes an omnipotent god seven days to create the universe and then he needed to rest.
D. God names his garden Eden, a Sumerian word meaning “fertile plain?” Is Sumerian the Adamic language?
E. God doesn’t remove the garden immediately, instead he waits choosing to guard it with a cherubim and a flaming sword Gen 3:24
F. God expects Adam and Eve to resist temptation when they didn’t know the difference between good and evil until after they had eaten the fruit
G. Cain was afraid of being cast out because people who saw him would kill him. There were only three people documented on the face of the earth at the time. Everyone alive would have had to have been a close relative/ Gen 4:14-15
H. Where did Cain’s wife come from? Gen 4:17
I. There were giants on the earth at one time. Gen 6:4 (Note: No evidence exists to supports this assertion.)
J. God destroys unborn children and all of the animal life in the flood for man’s sin. Gen 5:5-7, 11
K. Noah and the animals survive in the ark with only one window for ventilation Gen 6:16
L. How did Noah feed the carnivorous animals?
M. How did Koala’s get to Australia after the ark washed up on the mountain? (There is a very good evolutionary explanation with undeniable evidence including marsupial fossils found throughout the strata of North America, migrating through Antarctica and ending up in Australia, where they evolved into the multiple forms of marsupials as demonstrated in the fossil record and present day life of Australia.)
N. There were enough people to form nations in only three generations after the flood (144 years,) giving Noah’s great grandson the manpower to build the Tower of Babel.
O. Exactly what was the result of God’s confounding of the human languages? Why would some people move and others stay, did he think we wouldn’t be able to learn foreign language or that we could actually build a tower to the heavens? Why doesn’t he do the same to us now since we have achieved space flight?
P. There is no mention in the entire OT after Gen 11 of any event in Gen 1-11… The creation, the fall, the serpent, the flood, Babel etc.
Q. Jacob alters the genetic characteristics of cattle by letting them view a striped rod. (Note: His purpose in doing so was to fleece Laban of his cattle.) Gen 30:37-43
R. Twins are being delivered. One puts out his hand and the midwife binds it with a scarlet ribbon to identify him as the firstborn. But he draws back his hand, and his brother is born first (thereby obtaining the rights of the firstborn son). Gen 38:27-29
S. Why didn’t Isaac simply revoke his blessing of Jacob instead of blessing him again? Why would god honor the blessing obtained by deceiving a dying blind man?
T. God advises Moses through a pagan priest Ex 13:1-27
U. The Lord kills all the first-born of Egypt and there is not a house where there is not at least one dead. (This means that there was not a house in Egypt that did not include at least one first-born—a most unusual situation.) Ex 12:30
V. The number of men of military age who take part in the Exodus is given as about 600,000. Allowing for women, children, and older men would probably mean that a total of more than 2,000,000 Israelites left Egypt at a time when the whole population of Egypt was less than 2,000,000. Ex 12:37, Nu 1:45-46
W. God kills 50,000 men at Bethshemesh. This is several times as many as the entire population of Jerusalem at the time 1 Sam 6:19.
X. A man has an obligation to produce a child with his brother’s widow. If he refuses, his sister-in-law is to spit in his face in front of the elders. Dt 25:5-9
Y. Solomon’s temple was only about ninety feet long by thirty feet wide, yet 153,300 persons were employed to build it. It took seven years to build. ~7,500,000 lbs. of gold and ~75,000,000 lbs. of silver were used. 24,000 supervisors and 6,000 officials and judges were employed to manage it. (Note: Inasmuch as there seems to be uncertainty as to the exact weight of the biblical talent, some estimates place the weight of gold at more than 13,000,000 lbs. and the weight of silver at more than 116,000,000 lbs.) 1KI 5:15-16 1KI 6:2, 2CH 3:3 1KI 6:38 1CH 23:4 1CH 22:14
Z. Solomon sacrificed 22,000 oxen and 120,000 sheep in one week. This is 845+ animals per hour, 14+ animals per minute, for seven days straight. 2CH 7:5, 8-9
A1. 500,000 Israelites are slain in a single battle. (Note: This is more than were lost in any single battle of World War II, and even exceeds the number of deaths that resulted from the dropping of the atomic bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima.) 2CH 13:17
B1. Other Holy books quoted and sourced by the bible:
1. Book of Jasher Josh 10:13, 2 Sam 1:18
2. Book of Wars of Jehovah Num 21:14
3. Laws of Samuel 1 Sam 10:25
4. Acts of Solomon 1 Kings 11:41
5. Chronicles of Kings of Judah 1 Kings 15:7, 23
6. Chronicles of Kings of Israel 2 Kings 14:15, 28
7. Annals of King David 1 Chr 27:24
8. Histories of Samuel the Seer, Nathan the Prophet, Gad the Seer 1 Chr 29:29
9. Prophecy of Ahijah, Visions of Iddo the Seer 2 Chr 9:29
10. History of Shemaiah the Prophet 2 Chr 12:15, 13:22
11. Book of Jehu 2 Chr 20:34
12. Sayings of the Seers 2 Chr 33:19
13. Book of Enoch Jude 14
C1. A prophet of God to be consulted to find lost livestock 1 Sam 9:1-10:2
D1. God destroyed the people of palestine to make way for israel and justified their destruction because they were wicked. He never attempts to teach them his ways, seeing as Israel was not righteous or monotheistic either.
E1. The virgin birth is ignored by Mark and John. Jesus, Mary, nor Paul ever discuss it.
F1. Jesus stated that believers would be able to handle snakes and drink poison without experiencing any harm. Mk 16:17-18
G1. Jesus states that some of his listeners would not taste death before he comes again in his kingdom 2,000 years ago Mt 16:28, Mk 9:1, Lk 9:27
H1. Jesus curses a fig tree for not bearing fruit out of season. MK 11:12-14, 20-21
J1. Why does god want to torment some of his creatures for eternity because they displeased him out of ignorance or poor judgment? Why not just annihilate them? Wouldn’t that be what a merciful creator would do?
K1. God allows Job to be a helpless victim, a wager in a bet with Satan
L1. Why did God choose to appear to Israel only? If he can do anything and be everywhere at once, why couldn’t he be bothered to appear to the other people of the world as well? Isn’t he supposed to have no respect of persons?
M1. The city of New Jerusalem (where the residents of heaven reside) is only about 1500 miles square. RE 21:16
N1. Do not mix clothes of wool and linen together, and make tassels on your cloaks Deut 22:11-12
O1. Eating shellfish is an abomination Lev 11:10
P1. One cannot approach the altar of god if they have a defect in sight Lev 21:20
Q1. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean (football) Lev 11:6-8
R1. It is wrong to plant two types of crops in the same field Lev 19:19
S1. Abortion is condoned in the bible, contradicting the position of the majority of evangelical Christians.
1. If a man hurts a woman who is pregnant and the baby dies but she doesn’t, he isn’t to be killed and the punishment is to be left up to the husband. This means that an unborn child does not have the same value as a living person as murder of a living person elsewhere in the bible requires execution. Ex 21:22-23
2. Num 5:11-21 describes a bizarre ritual that is performed on a wife that is merely suspected of adultery to induce an abortion.
3. Hosea prays for god to cause all the ephraimite women to miscarry and god obliges. Hos 9:11-16
4. Moses orders the killing of all male children and women that are pregnant or that might even be pregnant to end the genetic line of an enemy. Num 31:17
5. God promises to dash to pieces the infants of Samaria and the “women with child shall be ripped up.” Hos 13:16
Why would the most perfect and most important book directly from the lips of god not be able to be clearly correct? If man can produce mathematics and science that are nearly impossible to improve upon, why can god not give us a book that anyone could easily improve upon, especially considering he demands we believe it at risk of hell-fire? Lastly, consider the errors that have occurred in translation of the bible, isn’t every word of god pure and preserved to never pass away? Is god not able to keep humans from screwing up his master piece, or does he just not care?
It’s simple common sense, anyone with half a brain can see the there are serious problems, so why are millions of people compelled to believe the Christian god is the one true god and the bible is his word? Well, because so many people don’t know any better, they accept what they’re told and by their pastors, evangelists and apologists and frankly many of them are just stupid. Consider the fact the ONLY way anyone can maintain the bible is true/the word of god is either by lying about it, or making excuses for it.
Seriously people? The word of god? Come on now…
Article was first published here